I started blogging because…well, it was convenient. I like to write. Writing helps me see my life and relationships more clearly in the Lord, and I wanted to share some of the blessings in my life with others. And the first couple years of blogging were pretty simple. I wrote what I wanted, when I wanted, about whatever God showed me, and enjoyed the process. And it thrilled me to pieces when someone would bravely share that something I had offered touched them or moved them in some way. That was an unexpected blessing.
Then things started to change…I got a few emails from women who wanted advice or wanted me to pray for them. And I was so humbled. That anyone would trust me with their concerns, that they would share the details of their struggles…wow. This little blog became a ministry…another unexpected blessing.
And more changes came…folks started leaving comments. Mostly encouraging and edifying. But a few that stung and were hard to read. And because I understood that what I was offering was being used by God I started to feel…responsible. I began to feel that I needed to either defend what I was sharing or protect my little band of readers. So my writing changed just a bit.
And that changed everything about this space for me. The more I tried to make it safe for others, the less safe I felt in sharing. And I started looking for things to share, trying to force the words and thoughts. And it became a chore. Still a blessing, I believe, but less and less what I felt called to do.
So I stopped writing…and was miserable.
Then a break-through at our writers’ meeting last night as a fellow sojourner began to share his different styles of writing with us…his professional writing and his intensely personal and beautiful writing. I want to write in freedom. Not without accountability, but in complete freedom of forgiveness and grace…no expectations except those that a perfect God has of his weak, failed, but oh-so-loved daughter.
So, I’ve turned off the comments (I think!)–though you are welcome to e-mail me and we’ll chat that way. I don’t care how many people read this or anything else I write. I re-claim this space as free space: free to be exactly who I am in Christ. Free to be forgiven. Free to fail. Free to extend grace and free to claim it as well. Free to explore. Free to start over. Free to know that words matter. Words are important. Words change us. Words can heal.
And, I’m so glad you are here, too, Friend.