The last few years, I’ve read about and enjoyed posts from friends (and bloggers I admire) who have chosen a word to focus in on for the year. Some of them have blogged about gratitude, joy, contentment, relationship, peace, and purity. Their posts and transparency have blessed me and encouraged me. As this new year dawned, I prayed and asked the Lord if He had anything…a word, a concept, a verse…that He wanted me to focus on for the year. Over and over again, the same word and concept kept coming to the surface. Ready for it? It’s a beaut…
I know, I just blew your mind. What an amazing, spiritual concept, right?
Actually, I was pretty confused at first. Okay, Lord. Pause? That’s not exactly the word I was looking for. I was thinking of something more glamorous…like Kindness, or Mercy, or Grace. But, Pause? What am I supposed to do with that?!
And that’s the point…He doesn’t want me to do anything with it. He wants me to pause. Wait. Stop. Think. Reflect. Look around. Listen. Observe.
The more time I’ve spent praying and studying the Word, looking back through my journals and study notes, the more I realize that I’ve been doing a lot. A lot of ministry, a lot of teaching, a lot of mothering, a lot of counseling…a lot of activity. It isn’t that I think any of the things I’ve done have been done with wrong motives or out of step with God, but it’s been a busy, busy season. Really busy. Sometimes you need to stop and just…breathe.
That part I get. The breathing part. The part where I look up from my trek up the mountain and stop to enjoy the view. The part where I stop to smell the roses, feel the warmth of the sun on my face. I get that part.
But a whole year of…pausing? Ummm…how is that going to work?
Really, I don’t know yet. It is, after all, January 11. I’ve had about 10 whole days to really reflect on this:) But this is what I do know: before I make any commitments, offer to help, pick up the phone to counsel another woman, start my day teaching my kids…I’m pausing. Sometimes it’s just for a moment. To thank God. To ask God for His leading. Sometimes, the pause is longer. To ask the Lord if this is what He wants me to do. To ask God to provide for the need of another if it clearly isn’t for me to do. For wisdom to know what His will is.
And though it’s only been a few days, the pause feels good. Hard…but, good. Hard to say “no.” Hard to say “not yet.” Hard to watch without doing. Hard to find my value in Christ without doing for Christ. But so very good.
Loving God, thank You for this pause. Thank You for reaching out to me in truth. Thank You for showing me the truth about myself. Forgive me for doing for You, more than knowing You. Help me learn to wait. Help me learn to look. Help me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.